Off The Usual Topic

Zen: no offence but your freaking David shit and that you've "never truly cared about a girl so that's why you think your gay" and now this Emily shit is fucking giving me whiplash

Nox: what?

---

Auto Response from Zen:
when I think about
it&take a step back
maybe..
i like being
*Imperfect*

---

Zen: what what

Nox: i dnt get what u mean

Zen: It makes no fucking sense.

Nox: ...im not fully gay, i like girls but not as much as guys, im dating emily cuz i do like her, david is jus a player, he'll nvr like me as much as i do
Nox: ....

Zen: FINALLY YOU FUCKING SEE THE TRUTH. I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU FOR I DON'T FUCKING KNOW HOW LONG THAT YOU'RE NOT GAY. AND ALL YOU EVER DID WAS FUCKING INSIST "YES I AM, I'VE NEVER TRULY CARED ABOUT A GIRL BEFORE. ONLY GUYS." BLAH FUCKING BLAH. I TOLD YOU.
Nox: ?

Zen: You ARE NOT GAY. You're just a fucking confused little 13 year old. And I'm sorry but I've been wanting to say this shit for a long time. DAVID. DOESN'T. CARE. ABOUT. YOU. And its taken you too freaking long to see it. That's why I show even less emotion than usual when you talk about him. That's why I don't care about your sexual endeavors with him. I just don't fucking care anymore. And it really pisses me off when I say something about Colleen and you immediately relate it to David. STOP. Your relationship with him is nothing like ANYTHING between me and Colleen. I LOVE Colleen. You DON'T love David. You don't fucking know what love is, because if you did I wouldn't have to deal with you always bringing David up when I talked about Colleen because you'd understand that that's the WRONG THING TO DO. But NOOO, you know EVERYTHING. And you HATE when I say you don't know something because you're younger. Well guess what, you DON'T know what love is. No fucking freshman in the word does. They THINK they do. Shit I fucking thought I did. But No Noxxy.. You fucking DON'T. I don't care what the fuck you say. You don't love David. You're OBSESSED. Get the fuck over him cause I know damn well you're going to most likely end up ruining your relationship with Emily simply because of David because you miss him, and you care about him SOOOOOO much.

Nox: ...

Nox: im 14...

Zen: Thats not the fucking point.

Zen: I care about you to death Noxxy, but you don't know everything. And when I tell you, you don't stop trying to fight back and say you do. Because I don't know everything so you can't. But I do know a lot more than you. I've had a hard fucking life and had to grow up VERY quickly. Where you are now is where I was at like age 7. And I'm not exaggerating. You don't know what love is. Its something that takes a long time to learn, and when you finally DO love someone, you'll realize how idiotic you were to think that you knew was it was. I thought I loved this boy Pasquale. Even after he ruined my life. And I swore I loved him up until the point I fell in love with Rebecca. But with Rebecca I learned what true fucking love WAS. And I know damn fucking well you haven't been through that yet. You can see it in someones eyes if they've ever truly loved anyone. And you haven't. Not that way.

Nox: ...meh..im pathetic....sorry for everything zen...i do love you till the edge of the world...

Zen: You're not pathetic. You just need to see the truth. And I'm sorry you had to see it this way. But with all the bullshit going on in my life I needed someone to snap on, and I decided for it to be you. But it was a good snap because I'm showing you so many things you need to hear and need to know.

Nox: i dnt mean to do any of that stuff to u....i really should have stopped....im not obbssessed but im not in love, its all "lust" or sum b.s....i shouldve just listened...

Zen: I wouldn't have listened in the first place either. Thats why I've said these things so many freakinf times. I'm just sorry that I had to go so far as to yell at you over AIM in order for you to see any of this.

Nox: its ok...its for the better?

Zen: It really is, and I really am sorry.